Thursday, August 25, 1988

Maman très chère (1988, Bruxelles)

Vous dire que j'ai beaucoup pensé à vous et à votre pays.
Vous dire qu'ici en Belgique, on ne vous connaissait que très peu.
On vous savait pays du Matin Calme, pays du trente-huitième parallèle,
Ensuite ce fut le pays d'où venait trop d'enfants en adoption.
Après le pays du taekwondo pour les initiés.
Pays des "mangeurs de chiens" pour les "trente millions d'amis".
Oh scandale ! notre étiquette est salie. Enfin reblanchie avec les Jeux Olympiques.

Vous dire que je me sens coréenne avec les Occidentaux et occidentale avec les Asiatiques.
Vous dire que je ne regrette pas d'être partie.
Que j'ai eu la chance, la seconde, peut-être celle que vous espériez pour moi ?

Vous dire qie j'aurais préféré avoir les yeux moins bridés et les cheveux plus clairs et ondulés,
mais en fin de comte prendre parti de mon physique d'asiatique...
parfois c'est utile.

Vous dire que l'apathie des Belges a déteint sur moi.
Que mon asiatude sent les frites et que ma belgitude goûte le gimchi.

Vous dire enfin que je partirai comme je suis venue,
mais pas chez vous, ma mère, surtout pas chez vous.

p.s. À mes géniteurs, à mes parents.


(c) 1988 mihee-nathalie lemoine

1 comment:

  1. Mommy Dearest*

    I want to tell you that I have thought about you a great deal, you and your country I want to tell you that here in Belgium, you are not well known. Your country is the land of the Morning Calm, the country divided along the 38th parallel, for the S.P.C.A., it is the land of the dog-eaters. Oh scandal, our reputation has been tarnished, to be re-established only after the Olympic Games

    I want to tell you that I don't regret having left. That I was one of the lucky ones- that luck was what you had hoped for me?

    I want to tell you that I would have preferred my eyes rounder, my hair lighter, wavy... But in the end, I have become resigned to my Asian physique. It can be useful sometimes.

    I want to tell you that I have been affected by Belgian apathy, that my Koreanness smells like fried potatoes (frites), my Belgianness like kimchi.

    I want to tell you that living among your people has given me a different view of things... the Korean passion for alcohol astonishes me. If I accept my Koreanness, it is only by default. I cannot see Koreans as they really are, only as they wish to be seen.


    I want to make you see that there is strength in the Koreanness of one who has been raised in Korea.. But if one is only Korean on the outside, what is our identity, except that of coming from a nation that survived the cruel Japanese occupation, a nation that gave away its surplus orphans.

    I want to tell you that after dreaming, blaming, envying, and finally, living in your land, this short time can in no way make up for the years of exile.

    Finally, I want to tell you that I will depart from here as I came but not by your side, Mommy dearest, especially not by your side.

    -------
    *The title comes from a book entitled Mommy Dearest written by an adopted daughter of the famous American actress Joan Crawford.

    ReplyDelete